Some nights...

 I guess I'm praying for some snow tonight so I don't have class and I can actually get to my reading that I should be doing for my first test. Not really sure what I'm doing, or how to do all of it. Just not motivated yet for school I guess, or more like I'm motivated but not for this stuff. I want to do procedures and learn techniques, and right now we're just talking about how to talk to pts and families, how to comfort, things that are common sense.
I miss Justin. I've dreams about him the last few nights and they're so vivid, and in each one of them he's got this boundary with me, but at least he chooses to be around me in them. That sounds horrible like he's mean to me, and he's not, he just always seems to be holding me off and I think that comes off subconsciously in my dreams. I haven't talked to him now in a guess a little over a week. He txted me Tuesday, but we didn't say much through that. That he knows that we haven't gotten to talk a lot lately, but to not read too much into it. I just miss him. And I miss being held and sleeping beside him.
I know things are really good right now, besides him,the doors God is opening through this scholarship that I got to pay for college, my new job kicking off well, and starting a nursing program, a roommate in the summer. All great things. And the possibility of snow. Sometimes things just don't feel ok, but we gotta press on...