A whole new kind of stress...

And so I have gotten an already healthy dose of the new semester and what it holds class work wise. I read through my first chapter for Anatomy and Physiology I today and have gotten about half way through the second, and I can't believe how many huge words and processes I am having to memorize. It shouldn't surprise me really, but I just never thought that nurses would have to know all that stuff...that only doctors had to understand the chemical processes of things. I mean, I feel smarter yes, but I feel like I have such a ways to go and I can't imagine doing it all with work and such too. On a positive note, I did make a 100% on the first chapter quiz and an 84% on the second which was all about chemistry and molecular bonding of the human body. I hate that I made an 84, but the truth is I don't think I could have done much better with the complexity of the material. And so the week begins tomorrow. I start out leaving the apartment at 7:30am to get over to Pellissippi (it takes at least 30 mins. to get there) and then I'm there until 1:45pm, just giving me enough time to get to work at 3pm and working till 11pm, not getting back to the apartment again until about 11:45pm. Tuesdays and Thursdays will be very, very hard days, but I'm going to keep hope that I can keep the current work schedule as is for now, for money sake.

Things are better with Justin. I know Julia, that things are not perfect, but I can't give up on them yet, not while he has not given up on wanting me. I feel like we're kind of transitioning somewhat in defining our relationship. I'm beginning to think that if I could just go to school up in Ohio things would go much smoother for us. But I don't know how that would ever happen. I mean I think I could wait another year or two to finish nursing before being with him, but I 'm not sure if he can deal with waiting that long...we'll have to see how things pan out.

I'm concerned as it is that if I cannot convince them to let me in the program despite the fact that I will not have my grades for the second Anatomy class in before the date they want applications in, I won't be able to stare the program for another year. Perhaps in that time I could move to Ohio and work and then get into a program there? Who knows. Got a lot of praying and lifting up to God to do. Lots of worries and concerns...and no time to think about them...